“Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”
As a young man I was really careful not to seem insane, despite the fact I could hear a deeper purpose melodically calling me in my mind and heart.
While I didn’t know what the song was leading me to, I felt deep joy and acceptance when I stopped to really listen.
Yet I would still do things that were so conformist, it was like I was playing a character, acting in a way which would allow me fit in, suppressing this strong urge to express myself in a way which seemed so alien to my surroundings.
I was pretty crap at it if I am being honest, it was so inauthentic to me, and it made me terribly unhappy.
I thought I was broken in some way, “why do people around me seem to be able to function so well in this system yet I cannot” I would ask myself.
I would numb my mind with pointless activities, alcohol, recreational drugs…and pretty much anything to silence the voice within which shouted with ever louder volume, “THIS IS NOT YOU!”.
When I take a moment to look back at those times, at younger me, I want to give that guy a huge hug. Because I know how confused he was, how he judged himself and blamed himself for every incongruence he experienced with the world around him.
I want to tell him it will be OK. I want to save him.
But if given that chance I wouldn’t, because while painful and tough at the time, those moments of struggle were what created the depth of appreciation I now feel for the way my life has unfolded.
The freedom of mind, heart, spirit and action I have right now is liberating.
Almost everything has subsequently shifted, but the most obvious shift people notice is in appearance I guess, I went from clean cut city slicker in a suit, to a cross between Worzel Gummidge and a psychedelic Jesus.
But I am me. Not only am I me, I am unapologetically me. Unconditionally me. Uncompromisingly me. I’m authentic to the song of my soul, which I am now comfortable to dance to regardless of where I am or who I am with.
Anyone reading this who wants more than anything to be able to dance to their own song like an excited child on the morning of their birthday, but is scared to do so, I invite you to remember…
This is your song.
This is your dance.
This is your purpose.
This is your life.
Dance away my beautiful brothers and sisters.