During a recent conversation with a friend we were discussing friends I have of the opposite sex, and in particular how much quality time I had been spending with them. The natural 'bro-infused' comment came forth enquiring about any possible romantic feelings.
My instant reaction was that these were such good friends with whom I had such a strong bond that they had become my sisters and that any romance within the situation would devalue the relationship in some way, "No way, we're way too close for that" I said.
His reaction was one of surprise and confusion, "I have heard you say this before," he quipped, "and it didn't make sense then either, surely you'd want the bond with your romantic connections to be the strongest and deepest it could be?"
And it got me thinking, throughout my life I have always seen a scale in relationships with women where in which as soon as I become very close to them and we bond at a soul level any romantic possibility disappears in my mind. I see them as sisters, extremely close, and it feels as though any romantic connection would devalue the relationship in some way.
So when does a friendship turn into an intimate relationship?
Perhaps for me I am reminded of intimate relationships I used to have when I was a younger man in my late teens which were really about one thing for me, having sex.
At that point in my life my interest in these relationships would fizzle out after some time, or become solely about the physical, pushing all other connection into the dark. Whereas if I think about the handful of relationships I had at the time which didn't get physical, the bond continued to deepen and lasted far longer, often up until the present day.
And I guess that is it. Nowadays when I really connect with a woman I connect for the person they are, for the incredible light that emanates from them, for the beautiful flow of feminine energy that flows through them and inspires me in every moment, and I just don't want to ruin that.
I feel that perhaps my actions as a younger man framed my model of relationships with women in such a way that to take it to the physical is to take the first steps toward ending the relationship. I am friends with some amazing, strong, independent, inspiring women who are out there changing the world in their own ways, both on a mass scale and one person at a time, and I value them so much as people I do not want to follow an old pattern. I want them in my life for as long as possible.
So as someone who has not figured this one out yet, when does a friendship turn into an intimate relationship?